Beautiful Breastfeeding?

I wanted to breastfeed Charlie, but with his heart, it took too much energy. He was using more energy trying to eat than the calories he was putting in. So... a pump was brought into our room and I started to pump. The nurses were all impressed at the crazy amount I was pumping. It's really amazing what our bodies can do. My body knew that he needed lots of that good stuff filled with calories to help him grow. I immediately felt disconnected with him though. Even in the hospital, everyone else was feeding him my milk and all I was doing was pumping.